Always remember that what comes around goes around. You want to be able to achieve your hidden agenda, but you need to achieve it without hurting someone else. You need to learn how to achieve their hidden agendas along with your own. A good example of this is to credit them for their ideas. They have helped you winner the bigger goal, but you may need them in the future and if you don’t credit them for their ideas, they will feel used. They will give you negativity.
Negativity is not something that people should tolerate, but it can easily be avoided. You must realize that when you give someone credit or recognize their accomplishments you have just achieved their hidden agenda. Everyone needs to feel needed and to give credit where credit is due feeds his or her appetite for that feeling.
In the beginning, you don’t want to burn bridges because you never know when you will need them again. If you were to allow them to help you excel with your agenda and then toss them aside when it comes to giving credit, then they aren’t going to help you again. They are going to let everyone know the type of person that you are and that is when the negativity to set in. What you give to the world is what the world gives to you. If you show that you have no moral ethics, then the world will show you the same courtesy.
Negative people don’t make it to their goals. For example, your goal in life is to become the CEO of your company. Along the way, you manipulated and used everyone. When you finally make it to your goal, you may get knocked down, which is normal. However, if your fall is cushioned as you descend the corporate ladder, you won’t ever get back what you lost.
To stay positive in all your interpersonal relationships you will have to follow some of these, if not all, tips:
Start each relationship with your hidden agenda, but think about the person’s feelings. You don’t want to be cut throat or undermining. You want to be courteous.
You want to support them and guide them towards your goals.
Give encouragements. This can be as simple as saying good job or asking for their opinion. Many people will guide you towards your goals. If you stay friendly, the atmosphere of the team will be bearable and encouraging.
Your department will work harder because they care about the team and the goals that you have set backs. If you encounter a set, back reformulate and consult the person on what they would do if they were you. This is being positive because you aren’t bursting with anger, you are reaching out for solutions. This is all about your patients. The time and care that you put into the project will reflect on the time and care that others put in. Therefore, if you can stay positive by finding solutions rather than explode, the team will work better.
When you make small achievements to your goal, celebrate. Smile and be happy! The next day show your appreciation by bringing breakfast to your team or by simply congratulating your team on the hard work that they put into the work.
Finally, when you have met you goal and find yourself with the opportunity to better your by getting the promotion, you will want to thank everyone and allow them to know that you appreciate everything that they have done for you.
Even though the steps are mainly for business related interpersonal relationships, you can easily use them for other interpersonal relationships. The key is to appreciate the person and to show your appreciation. Encouragement is another tool that you will want to use. For friends, show your support. For girlfriends/boyfriends, tell them how you feel about them and allow them to know just how much they matter. Everyone in the world just wants to matter to someone.
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