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When you switch on the adult entertainment channels late at night, one of the first things you notice is that although there are hundreds, even thousands of pornographic movies, they all had the same few half-witted story structures and porn stars.
It just so happens that I know the truth about pornographic movies. As a professional critic of the media I have always felt it was incumbent on me, as a public duty, to keep up with developments in all the means of expression however disreputable.

So for purposes of research I began checking out the adult entertainment channels in hotel rooms all over the world. If I was filming in Hawaii or Tokyo or Berlin I would switch on the adult entertainment channels late at night to see what was on offer and make notes. One of the first things I noted was that although there were hundreds and even thousands of pornographic movies, they all had the same few half-witted story structures. Almost without exception they were manufactured in Los Angeles, with a cast of characters that soon became recognizable, no matter where in the world you were watching.

Indeed that was the chief comfort they offered. If you were lonely in a hotel room in Sydney or Amsterdam, there on the screen were the same old familiar few faces from the San Fernando Valley. The men with their improbably low foreheads and permanently puzzled expressions, the women with their enhanced lips and strangely rigid chests, as if were wearing tungsten Basque internally.

What's my motivation?

For a student of bad acting, there could be no richer field. It's not as if the porno stars merely lack dramatic talent. They have the opposite of dramatic talent. Yet touchingly they're more interested in the acting challenges offered by the roles they play than the sex.

The man pretending to be the scientist whose job is to check the sexual sensitivity of the female astronaut just back from space keeps adjusting the collar of the white coat which proves that he is a scientist. He holds his clipboard in a scientific manner.

Meanwhile the woman playing the astronaut delivers her line of dialogue. "I don't know, doctor. I guess something happened to me out there."
None of them can act because none of them really has a personality: a fact which is only further emphasized when they attempt to effervesce. As a result, they are no more erotic when they disrobe than plaster casts of roughly the same size and weight.

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5/21/2012 7:12:11 AM